With many couples, sexual intimacy is frequent at the onset of the relationship. But after time, some couples experience a decrease in their bedroom activities. There can be many reasons for this. Sometimes there are unresolved emotional injuries or resentments. Another cause can be when there are physical appearance issues. Intimacy is avoided for fear of exposing perceived imperfections. There are also reasons directly related to intercourse, which may cause couples to avoid sex. The following are some of the most common:

Erectile/ejaculation difficulty is something all men may experience at some point in their life. The awkward experience of losing an erection can become a source of future anxieties. Many men begin to fear there may be something wrong with them. In fact, the very worry of another occurrence can create a self-fulfilling cycle. As the difficulty continues, men may start to avoid sexual contact, and may develop sexual performance anxiety. Some men refuse to accept that the condition stems from psychological factors, as they may perceive these as a sign of weakness.

Vaginal pain is another common reason for avoiding sex. According to the 2009 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 30% of women reported pain during their last sexual encounter. Sometimes women may need more foreplay before they are “ready”. However vaginal pain may have other multiple causes. Some of the most common are stress, genital infections, menopause, and endometriosis. Even allergy pills can reduce the amount of lubrication produced and cause soreness.

Inability to orgasm is another reason couples may avoid sex. It is also called anorgasmia. In women, this is when she finds it difficult to achieve an orgasm while aroused and even after sufficient stimulation. The reasons for this difficulty can be physical, emotional or psychological. Specific causes can include age, depression, stress, guilt, shyness or anxiety. Sometimes this can happen when women have not explored their own bodies and sexual self.  For men, delayed ejaculation, or male orgasmic disorder is the third most common sexual dysfunction. It can be either a delay in orgasm or complete inability to climax. The causes are often psychological such as stress, anger, low self-esteem, depression, or fear of getting the partner pregnant.

Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship, as it helps bond couples through intimacy. If your sex life is affected by any of these conditions, try communicating your concerns with your partner. Also, don’t hesitate to contact us for an appointment to help you both connect your relationship to a deeper level of intimacy.